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These are the Overwatch Halloween skins we absolutely need

Forget ranked or the Overwatch League, we’re all about that skin life.

Blizzard Entertainment

It’s October 3rd, which means things are getting incredibly spooky around here. Stores are selling Halloween candy, everyone’s planning their next costume, and Overwatch will be debuting the Halloween event any day now. Last year, we got a bunch of spooky skins including a pumpkinheaded Reaper, Witch Mercy, and Dr. Junkenstein. This year, we have to think bigger and better. Here are the Halloween skins that we’re willing to die for this year.

Spooky 76

Cass: Yes, Soldier 76 got a Halloween skin last year, but it was a recolour. Mercy got a Summer Games recolor in 2016 and a legendary skin in 2017, so Soldier 76 is eligble. I want his biotic field to be a skull with a candle in the middle and instead of healing symbols it brings up little ghosts. When he ults, he has to growl: I’VE GUT YOU IN MY FRIGHTS. He can wear a vampire cape or something. Soldier 76 is already super cranky, so let’s go ahead and make him a cryptkeeper. Do it, Blizzard. Do it.

Plague Doctor Ana

Cass: If you need me to justify this skin to you, you’re the one with a problem.

Witch Hunter McCree

Cass: This skin would veer a little close to his Blackwatch apparel, but a witch hunting McCree would absolutely own bones. Give him one of those sweet hats, flintlock pistols, stakes, and tattered garb. When he ults, he can go “It’s high moon.” Do you get it? It’s because the moon is spooky, and turns people into werewolves. Blizzard won’t answer my calls.

Thriller Lucio

Ryan: Who has the moves to make a Michael Jackson tribute work in Overwatch? Stop, don’t answer. It’s Lucio, obviously. But wait, isn’t this in the future and isn’t Lucio in his early 20s? He probably doesn’t even know who Michael Jackson is right? Wrong. MJ is timeless and so is his landmark album Thriller, on which the song Thriller appears which is used in the most famous music video of all time, Thriller. MJ is the king of pop for a reason, and Lucio is a killer DJ. It only makes sense that Lucio embrace his musical history, pop in some horrible yellow contacts and slide into that slick red jacket and pants (please).

Friday Night Frights

Ryan: This is a stupid idea for a skin. But also, remember all of the zombie football players in Beetlejuice? Just me? Well let me tell you, zombie (American) football is ripe with comedy. This skin is only as good as the sum of its parts, so between the Friday Night Lights pun being pretty impressive, zombie football being (as we established) very funny and Reinhardt just being a big dude, this skin is an easy 10 out of 10.

Cass: As a Canadian, I feel incredibly represented by Lucio’s hockey skin. Americans need that representation in the form of a giant football zombie. It’s only fair at this point.

Mausoleum D.Va

Ryan: What if D.Va’s mec was just a big building. And when it exploded, zombie D.Va dressed in, I don’t know some popular zombie regalia like a old-fashioned wedding dress or something, would pop out and start throwing arms at people. I laughed at my own joke when writing this so if you aren’t also laughing you aren’t thinking about a literal building with old pillars and moss and shit walking around the map and shooting body parts at people. Comedy gold.

What do you think about our spooky skins? While I desperately want these, deep in my heart, I think I can tolerate anything... as long as we don’t get another Mercy or Tracer skin. That would be the scariest thing of all.